FAMILY DYNAMICS: HUSBANDS AND WIVES
- Very few passages have been more debated and misused than this passage. We want to handle the roles and relationships defined with care while accurately sharing truth. Ephesians 5:21 sets the tone for Christian relationships in marriage. We are to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. To do this, we must first have a relationship with Christ. We must understand that our lives, and our marriages, exist to glorify God and make him known. The primary purpose of marriage is not to make our lives happier. Marriage is a wonderful source of intimacy, joy, companionship and love, but without a mutual submission to Christ, marriage misses the mark. How can we submit to Christ together as believers in marriage? Is my marriage focused first on Christ or on myself?
- “Therefore, my brothers and sisters, you also were put to death in relation to the law through the body of Christ so that you may belong to another. You belong to him who was raised from the dead in order that we may bear fruit for God.” – Romans 7:4
- Reversing the order of the verses, we will look at how husbands should live in light of the gospel. Husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the church. Jesus had the right to hold all of creation to account. All things were created for him and by him. Yet he chose to humble himself sacrificially, giving his life for his bride, the church. This should define the leadership of the husband in the home. Husbands should love gently, bearing the responsibility for following Christ and guiding the home in devotion to God. Sacrificial leadership should lead others to Christ, not puff up the husband. How can husbands view leadership through the lens of Christ’s sacrifice? How can husbands love their wives more than themselves?
- “It must not be like that among you. On the contrary, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be your slave; just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” – Matthew 20:26-28
- Submission can be treated as the “dirty word” in the passage. This ignores the beauty of Jesus’ example. Although co-equal with God, Jesus chose to live in submission to the father. Throughout the gospels we read that Jesus came to do “the will of the Father.” In the garden of Gethsemane, Jesus said, “not my will, but yours, be done.” Husbands have been given the responsibility of headship and all of the accountability that goes along with that role, and wives have been called to submission. Both husbands and wives have also been called to submit to the Lord first, which should both enable godly, sacrificial leadership and loving submission. Apart from a relationship with Christ, this dynamic does not work. It makes no sense for non-believing marriages. If Christ is the foundation of our marriage, what example did he set? How does Christ’s submission to his Father change the way I view submission?
- “Adopt the same attitude as that of Christ Jesus, who, existing in the form of God, did not consider equality with God as something to be exploited.” – Philippians 2:5-6
For further study:
Read Philippians 2:1-18. Look at the example that Jesus set for us. How can our marriage reflect this example to each other and to the world?
Prayer focus for the week:
Pray for Anthony and Katy Smith in Japan. They are hosting a Joy English club VBS at their church in Tachikawa. This is a great community outreach for the Japanese people.